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Some criminals are incredibly smart. They methodically plan out their crime and execute the crime to perfection. Since they’re so brilliant, they are able to get away with the crime. And then there are these 15 knuckleheads. These idiots simply shouldn’t stick with a life of crime because they’re too dumb to get away with anything. Because of their stupidity, they’ve made our list of 15 dumbest criminals. So let’s all sit back, relax, and laugh our butts off at these complete and utter morons. They deserve it.

Donald Gartner above busted twice in same night

Florida resident, Donald Gartner, had quite an eventful evening. Dude loaded up on some booze and Oxycontin and began starting fights over at his neighbor’s house. That stupidity landed him in the slam, but he was soon released. One would figure after getting arrested the first time in the evening, Gartner would be smart enough to just go home and sleep. WRONG! Instead, he busted into some cars in the jail parking lot and was sent right back inside.

Estallamarie Ruiz of Chicago burger buy with card at scene of crime

This is one of those WTF moments. Estallamarie Ruiz of Chicago stole a wallet from a woman’s car. Standard criminal activity. Well, until Ruiz decided to head across the street to McDonald’s to get her children a Happy Meal. Instead of fleeing the scene of the crime, she used a stolen credit card within 50 feet of where she stole it. It didn’t take long to investigate this crime. Her green van was spotted leaving the scene of the crime and then located at McDonald’s, along with the stolen wallet.

Pleasant...now in York County Prison.

New Jersey’s Keenan Pleasant above

Chalk this one up in the “oops” category. Most criminals make sure to leave as little evidence as possible. Not New Jersey’s Keenan Pleasant. Keenan, a 22-year old idiot, burglarized a home in Jackson Township, NJ. Chances are he would have gotten away with it if not for a huge mistake. Pleasant left behind his cell phone and the po-po’s were able to trace it to him. They found him sleeping in his basement and sent him to jail, where he belongs.

O.J. Simpson above

When you get away with a double-murder, the smart thing to do is count your blessings, be thankful you got away with such a heinous crime, and then steer clear from future criminal activity. That isn’t what former football star O.J. Simpson did. The Juice, in 2007, entered a Las Vegas hotel room with a gun, attempting to recover items he believed were his. Most people would have received a 3-6 month sentence. But since O.J. got away with a previous crime, he was sentenced to 9-33 years in prison.

Deaf Bank Robber

Germany’s Klaus Schmidt was hearing impaired. Note above.

If you have severe hearing problems, perhaps a life of crime just isn’t for you. Don’t tell that to Germany’s Klaus Schmidt. In 1995, Schmidt robbed a bank and made it evident to patrons that he was hearing impaired. A bank employee took advantage of his disability by setting off an alarm. Schmidt never heard it and the cops showed up to send him to jail. Schmidt was, as you would expect, angry, so he attempted to sue the bank for exploiting his disability.

Ruben Zarate provides phone number when robbing a store

Ruben Zarate, an 18-year old from Chicago in 2008 pulled off one of the dumbest moves in criminal history. Zarate entered a car repair shop with a gun demanding cash. However, the employee informed Zarate that money is kept locked in the safe and only the manager, who was not at work at the time, could open it. Zarate became impatient and gave the employee his phone number to call him when the manager arrives. Brilliant.

Anne Marie Linscott above craiglist hit man hire attempt

Craigslist is a great way to find the services you need. However, if that service happens to be a hit man to off your husband, perhaps Craigslist isn’t the safest place. Anne Marie Linscott didn’t follow our advice. The Grand Rapids, Michigan resident placed an ad on Craigslist offering up $5,000 to the person that would successfully end her husband’s life. Of course, she got caught and was sent to prison for a long time.

Prosecution: Aaron Hernandez Killed Two Men Over A Spilled Drink

Aaron Hernandez above cares more about killing people than playing in the NFL

Aaron Hernandez hasn’t yet been convicted of anything – in the court of law. But in the court of common sense, Hernandez clearly is guilty of at least being involved in at least one murder, if not many more. Hernandez is an idiot and an arrogant prick that will likely spend the rest of his life behind bars. It’s a real shame because Hernandez is a multi-millionaire with a bright NFL career ahead of him. He threw it all away.

His own wanted poster: Rodney Knight Jr not only broke into a house and stole a laptop, but then posted a picture of himself on its owner's Facebook page

Eric Steven Livingston above makes constant threats through social media

Eric Steven Livingston, an Iowa resident that dubs himself as “The Messiah”, is quite the Mensa. Eric – otherwise referred to as Elijah on Facebook – has quite the addiction to crime. And he’s really bad at getting away with it. Perhaps someone should inform Livingston that threats made through social media can be held against him in court. Better yet, let’s all just hope this reject offs himself. And let’s hope that happens before he harms someone.

 

 

Kimberly Capdevila mails cow poop above to neighbors

Another crazy Iowan makes our list! Kimberly Capdevila of Burlington, Iowa got angry with her neighbors. Unlike most neighborhood disputes, Kimberly didn’t just walk away and act like a respectable adult. Instead, she sent her neighbors a stinky package through the mail. When the neighbors opened the package up they discovered cow poop. It wasn’t hard to trace the package back to Capdevila, and she was promptly arrested. No word on what the neighbors did with the cow poop…

Lawrence Taylor has been arrested for rape

Lawrence Taylor above allegedly rapes an underage prostitute

Lawrence Taylor is now an old man, but he was once a superstar for the New York Giants. Taylor’s had many problems throughout his life with drug use. But in 2010, he topped the charts on stupidity when he met a prostitute that turned out to be under age. Taylor claimed he didn’t know she was underage but that shouldn’t matter. A 50-something celebrity shouldn’t need a young hooker to get laid. Come on, LT, time to quit being a piece of garbage.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Michael Shane Hagger above commenting on facebook

New Zealand police put up a notice on their Facebook page about a criminal that was on the loose. That criminal – Michael Shane Hagger – decided that he wanted to taunt the police by actually commenting on that status. He left a “hoo rah” message, which was “liked” by more than 50 people. As you may have guessed, that comment helped lead police to Hagger. It just goes to show how criminals should not underestimate the power of social media.

Suzanne Basham

Suzanne Basham above calls cops to report drug dealer that sold her bad crack

Suzanne Basham is your typical crack addict. She’s completely messed in the head. Basham was upset when her drug dealer sold her sugar, as you would expect. Instead of taking the alleged sugar back to the dealer for the real stuff, Basham called up the police to file a complaint and have him arrested for theft. The cops came out and arrested her for possession of drug paraphernalia.

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David Weber above attempts to purchase booze with card he stole from bartender

David Weber of Miami Beach, Florida just might be the dumbest of the dumb. Weber busted into a car and stole a credit card. Standard stuff. Well, until he decided to use that credit card in the wrong place. Weber went into a bar to purchase alcohol and, as you would expect, used the credit card he had just stolen. However, that card just so happened to be the bartender’s. Oops.

Police recently arrested Alan Golden for allegedly attempting a dine-and-dash during a police fundraiser.

Alan Golden above arrested at police fundraiser

Chalk this one up in the “wtf” category. Alan Golden of New Mexico attempted to dine-and-dash at an Applebee’s. Not really a big deal. It happens all the time. Except this time, Golden did it at the same time as a police fundraiser was taking place at the restaurant. He probably should have picked a better time to dine-and-dash. Golden was subsequently arrested. Pay your dinner bill next time, son!

Well if these characters above were the criminal elite, crime would be in trouble

ooo

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